Tuesday, April 4, 2017

16 hours...

On March 15th at 2:00pm my headache started, I did not have the strength to tell him that I was in pain so he won’t worry. I needed to stay silent, keep the aching thoughts in my head, he has suffered enough. Because earlier that day I had a crisis, mild, but emotionally exhausting for both of us; my body have had gotten stiff, rigid, I had no facial expressions, my brain shut down leaving me unconscious for few seconds, my heart is sore. Also is his.

Depressions kicks in, I have no choice other than welcome my friend to my life once again, we belong together.

It wasn’t a simple headache, it was blurring my sight, my happiness, my body, extending the pain to every cell, to every muscle, to every inch of me.  Many ideas come to my already congested mind, one of them was to end up my life and forever be pain free. Then I thought about taking some painkillers; but I wasn’t able to do it. I supposed my will power and my primary need was to stay sober were stronger than the painkillers; I knew that if I took a single pill, it could have gotten from 1 every 6 hours to 2 pills per hour, as I used to do.

It's 2:00 am and I'm still in pain, it’s been 12 hours with this suffering. How I was able to cope with so much agony. I suppose there are worse things you can go through; but at that moment there is only one thing in my head, ache.

Since I didn’t have a wide range of positions while lying in bed, so I decide to turn on my left side, I was tired to being staring at the wall for hours now. Suddenly, my eyes were contemplating the most beautiful sight in the world. There he was, submerged in a deep sleep; relaxed and serene, he was so peaceful lying in bed with me that all negative thoughts were vanished before the feel of his skin, his smooth soft skin and his hair on the gray scale. I got lost watching him sleeping...

I was running out of time, I need ransom. I woke him up and told him what is happening to me. I felt his reaction through the dark room... his eyes leapt, his pupils dilate, concern took over his body. And what does my hero do to save me from the curse?, takes my hand and gently touch it until I fall asleep and the pain is diluted like water between his fingers. His love heals, his love nurtures, his love fills me with happiness. It was exciting to be able to wake up at 6:00 am and see his freckles covering his body and those magnificent brown eyes brighten up his face.

He is my hero and always will be, he saved me from my worst enemy, me.

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I did it I have another day to live, by his side.